12.10.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Creativity, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Inspirational, The Change Process at 4:16 am by Dr. Trina Hess
I’m in the midst of reading Gina Mazza’s excellent book, “Everything Matters, Nothing Matters.” Right now she’s talking about observing the things that happen to and around us, without being attached to our the results of these happenings or our own image (ego).
Gina describes a particularly bad day that included the hotel staff losing her materials for her presentation, a co-worker who bailed on her, and that culminated in a few drunken sailors stumbling over and breaking Gina’s book table at the convention.
Instead of becoming unglued, Gina merely observed. This far-away-type view let her detach from the happenings, and not take them or herself overly seriously.
Looking at things in this way highlights the humor of the situation as well. When we’re not so bent on having a perfect outcome, we CAN laugh at those lost handouts, and we can be amused—instead of outraged—at drunken sailors ruining our display.
What a great example of de-ego-izing yourself so that you can finally laugh at yourself. From this laughter we get many things:
1. A calmness that protects us from physical stress-effects
2. A clearer focus as we see what’s really and not really important
3. A fearlessness that makes our next moves more productive
4. An anti-perfectionism stance that fosters our creativity and risk-taking
What drunken sailors have stumbled onto YOUR day? How funny can that be?
Permalink
12.04.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor attitude, Humor~Inspirational at 8:37 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
visit YourShiningExample.com today! 
While at Yosemite one night, I looked up at the stars. Majestic. Vast.
I couldn’t stop looking.
At first, I thought excitedly, “I should go get the camera!” But I stopped myself. In the first place, a camera couldn’t capture the exact thing that I was seeing.
In the second place, a camera would interrupt my viewing pleasure.
In the third place, a camera would limit the wondrousness of Yosemite’s stars.
A photograph may even diminish the experience my memory had constructed.
”You had to BE there”-style humor is like that, too.
**We can’t bottle it, capture it on film, or reproduce it.
**It depends on the very specific players present and how and why and in what degree they interact.
**They together create the magic that IS THEIR humor.
**And it becomes their trademark, their way of communally coping, their hope for a better next step.
We can’t control where our humor will lead us any more than I could control the Yosemite star view by stopping it within a photograph.
You simply have to “be there.” And allow it to overtake you with its magic.
Permalink
11.09.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Business, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Inspirational at 5:08 am by Dr. Trina Hess
Please don’t read this blog and go away saying, “Trina Hess doesn’t like enthusiastic people. She only wants people to be quiet and read a lot of books.” Well, that second part is true, but it’s also true that I can stand a little enthusiasm now and then.
The problem is when that enthusiasm gets so great that those who are hyped-up lose touch with reality. I’ve been around this phenomenon in various settings. Instances where I felt like an outsider among pod people. I’ve seen and felt it in religious settings, among athletic aficionados, in the midst of political rallies, and of course at soccer games overseas.
”But,” you’re asking, “what’s so bad about being one of those pod people?” The same thing that’s bad about exclusion in general. It limits our influence.
Ironically enough, the solution to avoiding becoming a pod person is the same characteristic that makes humor so great.
When we can relate our enthusiasm to what people can understand, we connect.
When we connect our interest with ways that people can get involved, we inspire.
When we inspire others we convince them to join our pod people.
Enthusiasm is a wonderful quality. But only if we translate it into something that is productive on a larger level. No one wants only a few pod people at their political rally—they want everyone. We want entire stadiums of pod people, who understand our message, who can communicate with us about how to improve our pod ways, and who feel that our pod-ness is enriching their lives.
Who are the pod people in YOUR life?
Permalink
11.08.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor attitude, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Inspirational, The Change Process at 5:33 am by Dr. Trina Hess
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes to Stow, Ohio, to my Comedy 101 teacher Mike Veneman’s viewing. Mike died from ALS (Lou Gherig’s disease) the day before Halloween this year. He was the most unselfish, unjealous, unbelievably precise writing teacher I have ever met. Every bit I’ve crafted from his advice in Comedy 101 and Comedy 201 classes kills (=gets laughs) for every audience. Every time.
Mike just KNEW what was funny.
A viewing isn’t something most of us want to attend. I didn’t. But I went anyway.
It was a rough time for all Mike’s students. In that room was sorrow. Lots of it. But in that room were also the three humor keys that Mike left for us, to deal with his passing.
1. Connectedness. 90% of the comics in Cleveland may well have started with Mike’s Comedy 101 class. We reminisced with each other, meeting old friends and new. My friend Marv introduced me to everyone, and also called me on my way home, to make sure I found Route 8 without a GPS. My new friend Todd stayed with me until closing. Even the most crass and angry of comics just stood staring, half in sadness, half in disbelief. In this room, we all belonged. We had all lost our friend.
2. Openness. The main feature of a roomful of comics is that nothing is taboo. Nothing is politically incorrect. I overheard, “…is she kind of Asian?”
“Maybe a little Asian.”
“Aren’t ALL Asians little?”
Someone else recalled Mike’s last weeks in the hospital where nurses had to push his stomach to try to release the pressure. One comic who was there visiting Mike asked the nurse, “Did you pull his finger?”
And, Mike’s body lying in the casket held a rosary. And a microphone.
3. Truthfulness. As I drove to the viewing, I cried the whole way. And I drove from Pennsylvania. Mike’s widow even asked ME, “Are you going to be all right?” I didn’t care that I was making others cry, too. This was the most accepting crowd I’ve ever been in the midst of. Comics are SUPPOSED to be open to any emotion and accept its truth and then tell about it.
That’s why Mike’s final night was a feast. The truth was that he’d had a tracheotomy and was having trouble breathing. But the truth was also that Mike loved food. So the night before he passed away, he ate. Macaroni and cheese, enchiladas and beer. Comics don’t suppress anything, even till the end!
The next time you’re in a difficult, unpleasant situation, take some advice from Comedy 101. Stay connected, stay open, and tell your truth. No matter HOW funny it sounds!
Permalink
11.05.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Inspirational, Learning Identity, The Change Process at 4:35 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
When I graduated from Penn State last winter with my doctorate, I had to do two unpleasant things. I’m not talking about finding the library books in my house. And car.
1. I had to surrender my Penn State Webmail account. That meant that I had to forward or copy/paste all the vital communication from the past 7 years of residing at that address. Otherwise, I would just have to let it go, and not worry about collecting and saving all the “important” things that had gathered there.
It’s funny how unimportant vital things look after sitting for 2 1/2 hours in front of a computer. Gradually everything started looking like spam. The more I was concerned with my current day-to-day tasks, the less important all these grave issues of the past seemed to me.
That was lesson one. How much energy are we giving to things that only appear to be important? In the big picture of our daily lives, they are a miniscule part. And yet they receive the bulk of our attention and soul.
2. Another unpleasant thing I had to do was adjust my thinking. At Penn State’s main campus there are 40,000 students. Yes, I wrote “thousand”. If you count all the students in all the satellite campuses, that number jumps to 80,000. Yes, “thousand.”
I was never really able to process that information. Not even while searching for parking spaces and fighting game-day traffic at PSU. But it really hit me when I studied and thought hard about my email address. trh177.
That meant that I was the 177th person at Penn State University who had exactly my same three initials. There were—and are—probably even more trh’s out there. Nothing can make you feel like a number faster than actually knowing what your number is.
Lesson two. Knowing our smallness gives us a great vantage point to seeing the overall structure of our world. Being trh1 would have limited my view of how all the other major and minor parts fit together into making up the whole university world.
Our tininess is a gift that allow more than mere modesty. It prepares us for the larger world that is Life State University. Where there are even more students, probably a much bigger budget, and likely a worse football team.
How much energy are YOU using holding onto ”numbers”? How funny is that?
Permalink
10.18.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Business, Humor~Creativity, Humor~Inspirational, www.yourshiningexample.com at 6:59 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
I was checking into my hotel this weekend and the clerk at the desk suddenly asked me, “You O.K.?” I looked up at him because I had not idea what he was talking about. “You seem a little stressed.”
That was surprising. I had no idea! I guess my big sigh gave it away. After I finally found the hotel, and registered, I was glad be done with this busy day and the business of thinking about the next day’s meetings.
But was my relief THAT loud? Really?
That made me wonder what other vibes we are giving off that we are completely unaware of.
The impressions we’re creating in people.
The worries we are giving people.
The time away from productivity that we are robbing people.
And we don’t even KNOW it!!
If I had been more AWARE, I could have created an aura around myself that wouldn’t have signaled stress. I could have developed a ring of inspire that would have radiated out in a lighter way than sighing and phew-ing.
It really IS that subtle, and it really IS that important. The aura we create does rifle through the lives and actions of others. That’s why it’s vital to create a HUMOR environment, one that will elicit a fluidity that doesn’t derail people. One that makes it easy to focus on the goal ahead. And one that makes it pleasant and fun to be involved in.
That’s the aura I want to be creating {sigh}.
What’s YOUR aura look like? How funny is THAT?
Permalink
10.13.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor~Creativity, Humor~Events, Humor~Inspirational at 3:49 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
This week’s Comedy Around the world goes to Youngstown, Ohio. I’ve always thought this was a rough town. Last weekend I went to Youngstown to see a Rob Zombie concert. So you could say I’ve paid my dues.
What was striking about this concert was how humorous it was. Unintentionally, I am sure, but humorous nonetheless.
What stood out for me was how closely the Zombie worked within the humor spectrum.
1. Rob Zombie created an environment of levity, creativty, newness and fun. He was part of the Halloween Hootenany—a mega-event that encouraged the costumes, face-paintings and risk-taking that I saw throughout the crowd. What kind of celebration are you creating?
2. This shock performer strengthened our feelings of inclusion. Any outcast of society was welcome here—whether living or dead. Piercings, tattoos, heavy mascara—bring it! And also included were any emotion, not just celebratory feelings. The anger, frustration, rage and fury people feel about living in a modern technological age: they were allowed here, and not just allowed, but encouaged and rewarded. It was a very freeing environ. In what other atmospheres are people allowed to be their whole self—ugliness and all!
3. Rob Zombie was accessible to his fans. All of a sudden, the crowd surged toward where I was standing on the middle of the former ice rink. I wondered what was going on—was there a fire? Then I watched where the crowd was going. Over the barrier and into the crowd—following Rob Zombie. He had shone a deer spotlight on the crowd, acknowledging them. Not only that, but he went into the crowd and through the aisles, forcing people to stand in their seats to let him pass. What other high-profile rock stars would do that?
4. Rob Zombie grabbed my attention and didn’t let go. Shocking lyrics were only one part of the repertoire of shockingness. He also sported gigantic double screens full of scenes and clips from Night of the Living Dead and other low-budget campy horror flicks. Are you willing to shock yourself out of your ordinariness?
5. The concert bolstered creativity. That’s because the surprises kept coming. One song, the Eurythmics’ “Sweet Dreams,” was the version I’d heard in a Lifetime movie. No kidding! What unlikely combinations can you make once you’re willing to overlook taxonomies?
Next time you think you know someone, think about what you can learn from them, about humor.
Permalink
09.23.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Inspirational at 7:04 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Listen to any motivational speaker, and they’ll probably tell you the main thing in anything is your attitude. They’ll tell you that it directs our thinking, our actions, and our results. That is true.
But something comes before even our attitude.
That’s our EXPECTATIONS. Those are what feed into our attitudes. Those are what make or break any outcome, regardless of our attitude.
We can have a positive attitude, but have wildly outrageous and impossible expectations for and about people. And, in my opinion, positive thinking actually encourages over-the-top expectations. Think about it: When we’re in a great mood, we naturally assume everyone else is, too. Then, when people do things contrary to our expectations, we’re not amused. We’re shocked, hurt, and at times outraged. So much for our positive attitude…
Yesterday I had this expectation-thwarting experience when I went to the grocery store. After having lived for a short while in Germany, I’m used to what to expect at a store that has German roots. They close at 6, make customers walk in single file and not look to the left or the right. And their check-out line is like the pit crew at a NASCAR race. So—I went into the store with very bad expectations.
“I knew it!” I thought to myself as one of the workers picked up my box of groceries that I’d set on another box in the aisle. “He’s probably going to yell at me for using their boxes!” I started to rescue my groceries when he explained to me, “I was just picking them off the floor so you wouldn’t have to.” Oh! Surprise! So much for my negative expectations.
My expectation about my fellow customers was that they would be rasch, insensitive, and generally Germanic (that’s not called being prejudiced, by the way; that’s called being observant.) So you know I was shocked when one woman offered to help me carry the bags, various boxes, and bird seed I was struggling to balance so I wouldn’t have to spend .25 on a shopping cart. “Thanks!” I told her, and handed over the 25 lb. bag of birdseed. “Maybe I was wrong about this store!”
A humor attitude is a different animal than a positive attitude. That’s because a humorous attitude encompasses an expectation-check. This expectation-check allows us to view the big picture. Lets us see that our happy mood (or, even our bad mood) is just a small speck in a much, much larger world of feelings, moods, and vibes. When we hop into this vortex, we’re not tossed around, paradoxically enough. Instead, we’re in control, even within our out-of-control (of the situation)-ness.
We can get this sense of control by allowing for all these other, inferior or superior attitudes going on all around us. We can shuck and jive all we want and not get knocked down. Because our expecataions are only tied to our self, and our results. We are O.K. to let go of the outcomes, and just be happy offering our input, and letting the rest go. Into the vortex. Where it rightly belongs.
What do YOU expect today? How funny is that?
Permalink
09.21.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor attitude, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Inspirational, The Change Process at 2:25 am by Dr. Trina Hess
holding pink rock from top of mountain, Yosemite
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes to Yosemite Valley, home to some of the most majestic granite landscapes the world has ever seen. Yesterday I hiked to Vernal Falls. At the top of the falls, people were milling around, held back by a rail fence.
I thought they were crazy! Why—and more importantly, HOW—could anyone get up there? “That’s way too far!” I thought to myself, “and besides it’d be way too scary up that high!”
But after wrestling with fear and doubt, I finally decided to go to the very top of the falls.
Yes, it was scary. But yes it was also majestic, mind-blowing, and marvelous. All at the same time! Behind me was an almost-still pool, feeding the river rushing over the falls. And various forest animals that hoped to catch some tourist-crumbs hopped right up to me and walked on by.
I looked down at the place I’d been standing when I doubted the sanity of this whole hike-to-the-top. I couldn’t believe it: It wasn’t really all that far—or high–at all!
Later onto the trail, I got an even better vantage point, as I could see even further above the falls than I had been standing the second tier of the climb.
I picked up a pink rock nearby, to honor my finding: That things that seem impossible can actually be possible. We just have to adjust our thinking, traverse the doubts in our minds, and just do it!
And, of course, the best way to do that is through creating a humorous environment. Try it today! See where it takes YOU!
Permalink
09.08.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Inspirational, www.yourshiningexample.com at 2:36 am by Dr. Trina Hess
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes to the Phil Keaggy concert. While watching the incomparable Phil Keaggy play his guitar at last Saturday’s concert, something struck me.
Several blog entries, some comedy premises, reminders of things I had to do this week, funny and pleasant memories from the day’s happenings, and random journal ideas.
In effect, I was wildly creative, simply because I was listening to this master virtuoso. Maybe it’s like the Mozart effect on babies. But the Keaggy effect worked on me.
I figured it out: It must have been the meditative atmosphere that Keaggy’s music generates. His blindingly fast guitar riffs, his creative sound combining—all of that blended to make certain brain waves shut off (the waves that signal fear, worry, disaster). And to make certain others flip on—like creative waves, feel-good waves, motivated waves.
This usually happens to me at concerts like Keaggy’s. I think it has to do with the absence of words. Sure he sang sometimes, but I wasn’t focusing on the words. And anyway, his instrumental music could beat up his words any day. Because there was no verbal processing required, my mind was free to roam.
To plan, to dream, to synergize, to synchronize.
It’s that same hypnotic state that humor generates in us. Think of how great you feel after having laughed. Maybe you feel lighter, happier, and maybe you’ll start coming up with new ideas yourself.
How do YOU get mesmerized? And how funny is that?
Permalink
« Previous entries · Next entries »
