12.16.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Health & Goals, The Change Process at 2:36 am by Dr. Trina Hess
Today I was bandied about by the rhythm of the day. It was one of those choppy-houred days where things were scheduled randomly and there was only a slight chance I’d accomplish everything.
I drove into town in an ‘I-give-up’ sort of trance. There was a line waiting for the free chair massages at the wellness center. So I wasn’t the only freeloader!
Gradually I had calmed down enough to notice the brightest, most spectacular thing I’d seen all day. THEY HAD COOKIES! And not just that, but coffee. Sure the usual light-weight herb tea was sitting untouched in the basket, but TODAY THEY HAD COFFEE!!
I grabbed one of each kind of cookie and settled into my favorite chair. A woman came out to the cookie tray and I quickly hid my stash under a napkin. I was compelled to talk to her. “Are you in line too, or are you one of the therapists?”
She explained that she does the acutonics, the sound healing with tuning forks. I was fascinated by her information and told her about my violin teacher’s sound healing CDs.
I had very little waiting until my chair massage turn. “How were the roads?” the therapist asked. (In our area of the state, this is like normal people asking, “How are you?”)
I said I don’t notice the weather anymore since I got studded tires.
She excitedly told me about her studded tires and how she’s no longer afraid of the winter roads.
As I was leaving, the owner commented, “I like your scarf! You matched it exactly to your sweater! Nice!”
“What?” I hadn’t noticed and certainly hadn’t matched anything. On the way out the door, I’d grabbed the warmest scarf from my pile of outdoor-wear before the cat made it into a bed. Later that day, another person commented that she liked my hat, and that, “It matches your scarf perfectly!”
Interesting. Perfect. Without trying. Or maybe because I didn’t try…
After this relaxing and serendipitous break in my day, I went to the dentist.
The assistant asked, “Are you ready for Christmas?” I told her I’d just bought my 3rd gift so far. “You’re 2 ahead of me!”
“Great! I don’t feel so bad! I don’t like shopping.”
My dentist heard and chimed in, “I’m like that, too.”
What an odd day. It began so out-of-control. Like an Elvis jump-split ending where you remember at the last minute you’re not very flexible. And then it limped along, without any help from me.
But wait. I DID some things, and I did them right: I was practicing all the tenets of HUMOR.
1. I was open to everything. The tight schedule, the many tasks, and even my tense inner feelings.
2. I was being observant. Because I wasn’t structuring my day, all the highlights sparkled on their own (the compliments, the schedule karma, and of course, the COOKIES!).
3. I was accepting. Although the day didn’t begin in control, I didn’t fight it, didn’t wish it were better. I didn’t try to deny by pumping myself up with positivity. I just sat back and enjoyed.
4. I was connecting. Without trying, connections happened. Freeloaders. Studded tires. Sound healing. Procrastinators of presents. Scarf envy. And of course, THE COOKIES!!
Sure, there was that tension. The control-freak stress we impose on ourselves. But once I got over that burden, the cookies were there. The cookies. They’re the bright spots in our day, the surprising gems we didn’t even know we wanted. And they are always there, even on our worst days. If we just notice and accept them, we will inevitably also connect to them.
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12.11.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Health & Goals at 9:22 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Let the games begin! I vote to bring back Festus. The man-made holiday that George’s dad created in the Seinfeld sit-com. Forget about charming, candy-coated Christmas season. Let’s get real!
I thought about Festus when I heard the statistic that the highest rate of suicide is during the Christmastime holiday. Seems completely untrue. Christmas is for love, caring, giving, hope, etc., etc., etc.
The problem is that we’re supposed to think that. And then we’re supposed to be that, act that, live that and worst of all—expect that from other people.
The holiday season slams the door on humor. Here’s why:
1. We seldom look at the whole person, the whole situation, or all of our feelings—both good and bad.
2. We aim unrealistically high in our goal to achieve the Rockwell painting (that probably was a fake—has anyone really ever checked?).
3. We work against our own best interests, neglect our mental and spiritual health, and generally put ourselves last.
4. We aren’t having fun because at the holidays we meet up with the most stressful person in the world: ourselves!
So what’s the remedy? How CAN we make Christmas the way it’s “supposed” to be? By not expecting it to BE anything. It’s not “supposed” to be happy. The holiday was variously pagan, and then involved birthing a baby in a Middle Eastern barn and freezing with no heat. How fun is that?
And from there, it has morphed into a one-up-man-ship of better and better gifts. Out-doing each other in hostessing parties. Worrying about our kids hating us for not getting them cool toys. Ungrateful relatives, resentful friends. Loathing ourselves for continuing to do things we hate doing like sending Christmas cards, etc., etc., etc. No wonder people get the most depressed at this time of year!
Here’s a strategy that is not “supposed” to work, but you can try it anyway.
—> If you don’t like doing a holiday task, stop doing it. Sure everyone will hate you for not mutually sending cards. But maybe they will hate you regardless.
—> If you simply cannot stop yourself from sending Christmas cards, do it the Festus way. Write in the card all the ways that particular person has disappointed you. Next year you can stop, because they won’t miss your card.
—> Get real with yourself. If you’re ready to burst into tears because you don’t even know what an iPod is and you have to buy one so your spouse won’t hate you—just have a break-down. Right there in the kitchen store where you’ve gone to find an iPod. Maybe YOU can set the example for others to get real, too. If we have entire cities of people who can’t deal with the holidays maybe we’ll all feel less stressful.
Feel free to add to the list. The only thing that is “supposed” to be on the list is what keeps YOUR humor nature alive and healthy.
What’s so funny about that? Simply everything.
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12.10.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Creativity, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Inspirational, The Change Process at 4:16 am by Dr. Trina Hess
I’m in the midst of reading Gina Mazza’s excellent book, “Everything Matters, Nothing Matters.” Right now she’s talking about observing the things that happen to and around us, without being attached to our the results of these happenings or our own image (ego).
Gina describes a particularly bad day that included the hotel staff losing her materials for her presentation, a co-worker who bailed on her, and that culminated in a few drunken sailors stumbling over and breaking Gina’s book table at the convention.
Instead of becoming unglued, Gina merely observed. This far-away-type view let her detach from the happenings, and not take them or herself overly seriously.
Looking at things in this way highlights the humor of the situation as well. When we’re not so bent on having a perfect outcome, we CAN laugh at those lost handouts, and we can be amused—instead of outraged—at drunken sailors ruining our display.
What a great example of de-ego-izing yourself so that you can finally laugh at yourself. From this laughter we get many things:
1. A calmness that protects us from physical stress-effects
2. A clearer focus as we see what’s really and not really important
3. A fearlessness that makes our next moves more productive
4. An anti-perfectionism stance that fosters our creativity and risk-taking
What drunken sailors have stumbled onto YOUR day? How funny can that be?
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11.27.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Technology at 11:51 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
While I was watching PS3 Call of Duty Black Ops I marveled. Now only at the skill of the 8 year old who was navigating the game, but at the intense detail of the scenes. Even the elevator had elevator music!
The game was almost like a movie, but not quite. At first, I’d thouight the game was too empty, too cartoon-like.
But as I continued watching the film-game, it gradually DID seem like I was watching a movie in a theater. Then I figured it out: It was the undertones.
Even if it was a single note playing continuously, the “music” playing in the background reminded me of the thrill-inducing music played underneath scary movies.
Humor can be the undertone of YOUR life—if you make it so. And it can operate just like the music functions in a PS3 game:
1. connects the entire scene
2. flows the action into a streaming line
3. makes the entire episode seem much more interesting
4. completes the story line into a whole piece of comprehensible magic
What’s the music running underneath YOUR life? How funny is that?
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11.16.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Business, Humor~Health & Goals at 9:25 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Humor keeps us on the edge. Attuned to the changes that happen around, with and to us. But best of all, humor keeps us comfortably OUT of our comfort zone!
I realized this phenomenon when I examined my exercise routine. After all, I’ve seen it all: I’ve run 11 marathons (run is the optimal word, the reality is “completed”). I’ve competed in various sports (I was one of two in our 4th grade who was able to do a cartwheel on the balance beam. Without falling off.). I’ve earned a brown belt in martial arts, and I’ve run every day since my teens.
But this “knowing it all” hasn’t made for success. It makes for boredom. Plateaus. Non-progress.
And so, I hired a trainer to determine my weaknesses and tell me what I SHOULD know!
Merely making the appointment: motivational.
Meeting the trainer and taking that first physical step: magical.
To my surprise and delight, my trainer shared with me that she also gets bored when she “knows too much” about her program and gets too comfortable with the workout.
Working with an expert in the humor field (that would be me) can also motivate YOU to Live Life—Lite! How?
You’ll know the basics on a deeper level. That will—_>
make your understanding more precise, and that will—- >
increase your motivation to en-Lighten Up!
Experts know the intricacies of their art. But even better, they can propel us toward ever-widening goals…
What do YOU know? How funny is THAT? And— > what do you have yet to find out?
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11.15.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Events, Humor~Health & Goals at 1:16 am by Dr. Trina Hess
It’s expensive. It’s difficult, it’s intimidating. It’s technology, and from it there is no escape.
What’s so funny about technology? It responds to the humor mindset in these ways:
1. Tech reminds us that everything changes and the sooner we get onto that track of thinking, the easier WE make it for ourselves.
2. Gizmos propel us toward learning in a way the old-skool mentality can’t: we actively pursue the next step and then the next without worry over evaluations, competition or performance–we simply want to find out more.
3. Get a great piece of technology and you almost guarantee fun. Newness doesn’t have to mean falling behind, shelling out lots of cash for updates or hours at a how-to manual. Losing yourself in the technology leads to a flow state which leads to contentment.
There’s no reason to fear technology just like there’s no excuse to thwart your humor nature.
And now here’s an incentive to tech-up your life, business and goal-achieving. My friend the Techno-Grannie, Joann Quinn-Smith, is offering a discount rate for the upcoming 5th Annual Pennsylvania Business Technology Conference on Thursday November 18, 2010.
To get the special rate of $99.00 use the promo code “positive”. And while you’re there, why not stop by and see TechnoGranny at her exhibit for PositivelyPittsburghLiveMagazine.com
Bring Your android phone—you may be one of twenty guest interviews on PositivelyPittsburghLive, TechnoGrannyShow or ProfessionalswithImpact. And if you get one of the QR codes for these on your lunch trading card, you may get a ticket to the Entrepreneurs Growth Conference in the spring!
Check out some of the conference workshops and we hope to see you November 18th at Duquesne University.
Workshops
Moving Targets: Mobile Marketing for Better Outreach, Advertising & Impact
Learn about the latest trends in mobile marketing, including how to leverage the mobile web and mobile apps to reach your customers. In addition to trends, we’ll review usable tips and best practices that will help you utilize mobile marketing for your future marketing efforts, as well as the best ways to measure the results.
Speaker: John Cilli, Brunner
Why Rank Matters: Securing Top Positions on Google
With millions of searches each day, the power of search engines to influence purchasing decisions and generate leads for your business is unparalleled. What strategies will help your website outrank your competition and propel your business to a market leader position? Learn the relationship between traditional media and search marketing and why search strategies are universal for every size organization and industry.
Speakers Abu Noaman, Elliance
Free Tech Tools Exposed (If You Want To Cut Costs & Work Smarter)
The Internet has many tools to help improve your productivity, organization, client collaboration and marketing – all for FREE. Are you taking advantage of these tools? In this fast paced session, participants will be introduced to free online tools for your day-to-day business processes, including alternatives to big-name software packages. We’ll cover what the tools can do for you and where to get them. Don’t miss this opportunity to explore new ways to solve common problems with uncommon tools.
Speakers Jennifer Reissaus, Advertising Specialties Alliance
Micahel Lehman, Institute for Entrepreneurial Excellence
Follow Me: How to Use Social Networks to Build Visibility & Drive Sales
In our hyper-connected, always-on world, customers don’t just react to a brand: They interact with and even redefine it. How do you go from “like” to buy and beyond? Learn how you can use Facebook™, Twitter™, LinkedIn™ and other social media channels to forge strong connections with customers, reach out to new prospects and create something that lasts.
Speakers Cynthia Closkey, Big Big Designs
Victoria Dilliott, Affogato Coffee Bar
Open Sesame: Email Marketing Strategies That Work (And Those That Don’t)
When it comes to ease and economy, email marketing reigns supreme. But how do you ensure that your emails get delivered, get opened and get results? The dynamics of email are changing all the time. This workshop will get you up-to-speed on what works, what doesn’t and today’s best practices for getting better ROIs from your email campaigns.
Speakers Cori Van Horn, Snap Retail
Steve Day, Malabar Technologies Inc.
Triple Your Income with Killer Social Media Videos
If a picture is worth a thousand words, a video is worth a million. Learn the three steps to develop your perfect video, how to leverage YouTube™ and Facebook™, the three ways your video can help build sustainable income and the role of low-cost webinars in your marketing and sales arsenal.
Speakers: Sheila Ecung, Arrowstarr
Daryl Milliner, Paradigm Partners
The Biggest Website Mistakes That May Be Undermining Your Brand, Your Customer Service & Your Business
Join two Internet marketing experts to learn their top ten lists of the biggest website mistakes that you may be making. Find out if your site has any glitches in branding, visitor usability, or search engine optimization, and learn how to quickly fix them to improve sales, leads and customer conversion.
Speakers: Jami Broom, Clicks Internet Marketing
John Carman, Avenue Design Studios
Sales Tools for Small Business: How to Attract, Manage & Retain Your Customers
Sales are the lifeblood of your business but how are businesses like yours streamlining the sales process and improving the customer experience? Learn the latest solutions for managing your contacts and leads so you can make the most of your opportunities and maximize your profitability.
Speakers: Danielle Mesich, Navigator Business Solutions
Joe Nardone, Computer Consultant Team
Secrets to Better Blogging: How to Build Readership & Get Noticed Online
Blogging is easy; building readership and using your on-line diary to build an image isn’t quite as simple. Get the skinny from blogging and branding experts on what it takes to make an impact. Learn what your followers want, how to use it to build a name for yourself and promote your expertise. Best blogging tools, resources and promotional strategies.
Speakers: Rachel Gogos, Brand id
Paul Furiga, WordWrite Communications
Lost & Found: Free & Low Cost Marketing Tools to Help Your Start-Up Get Noticed Online
Hear how one Internet-savvy entrepreneur built a name for herself using a little budget and free online resources. Hear how you can build your own on-line empire with resources that can have you standing out in the crowd, using free advertising sites, article publishing, auto responders, viral videos, blogs and more.
Speakers: Joanne Quinn-Smith, Dreamweaver Marketing Assoc.
Charles & Janet Pelligrini, Tambellini’s Ristorante
Sanna Carapellotti, Pittsburgh Medical Hypnosis
An A-Z Guide to Online Advertising
Internet advertising is quicker, more measurable and allows you to reach a wider audience for a small fraction of a traditional advertising budget. But how can your business make of the most of your limited online ad budget? Beyond PPC and banner ads, what are other high-potential opportunities? Should you be exploring Google™ AdWords? What are some low-cost advertising that every business needs?
Speakers: Brendon Schenecker, S.B. Marketing Inc.
David Fix, DonFarr Moving
Planning & Promoting Your Own Sales-Driving Webinar
The evolution of web conference technologies is allowing businesses both large and small new ways to engage customers, prospects and employees. Webinars are exploding in popularity as a way to promote new products and services, build expertise and sell to prospects around the globe, all without leaving the office. But what are the keys to creating and promoting your first interactive seminar? What resources are available? What are the most common mistakes and the best strategies for making webinars an unbeatable business-driving engine?
Speakers: Lynda Stucky, ClearlySpeaking
Ben Schmitt, Chorus Call
Download our Brochure!
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11.12.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Events, Humor~Health & Goals at 5:11 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Humor is all about sensing opportunities, generating new ideas, and creating from the heart. My friend Carol sent me this reminder about how WE can keep our perspective on our “problems.” Thank you to everyone represented in these photos—we appreciate you!
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Is loving one.
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11.11.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~In The News at 1:19 am by Dr. Trina Hess
The Twinkie Diet is outrageous, right? It goes against all common sense, all experts’ admonitions, and even our national moral code. Culinary madness!
But—it worked.
It helped one man to lose 27 pounds.
How?
1. Mark Haub, professor of human nutrition and hero of humorist speakers everywhere, decided to buck common sense.
2. He purposely targeted the lesser-species of edible reality. The bottom of the food chain, right above aphids and fossils from the Paleolithic Period.
3. He stayed on his mission, even adding various malicious snacks like those proffered by Little Debbie.
4. He likely ignored all the health fanatics and soccer moms who probably told him he was being a poor role model.
5. He very well enjoyed his experiment.
That’s the secret that humor holds, too.
It looks like fluff. Like white-flour pablum that couldn’t possibly hold any nutritional value.
And so what do we do?
Of course we don’t make it a staple of our diets.
If we do consume it, it’s late at night when we can bring it out of the cupboard where we hid it.
We can’t even relish the taste because we feel so guilty about its valuelessness.
But, humor, like the Twinkie Diet, really works.
How?
1. Humor requires us to buck the trend, the commonplace, and the status quo. No one should make twinkies a staple of their diet and certainly no one should make that public knowledge, right?
2. Humor demands that we commit to its purpose and stay with it till the end. The sugar shock alone may make one woozy, but to prove his point, Haub stayed true to his offbeat experiment.
3. Humor requires us to realize what we truly feel, think and believe. If we like Twinkies, we should go ahead and eat them.
4. Humor’s usage practically guarantees us stress-reduction. Whether it’s angry, playful, or self-condemning, it’s ultimately cathartic. The mere exercise of eating what one desires may have propelled Haub’s body to shed the excesses it held because of “common sense.”
What do you avoid, regulate, criticize, or demonize because you think it’s the “healthy” thing to do? Let HUMOR tip the scales in YOUR favor!
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11.09.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Business, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Inspirational at 5:08 am by Dr. Trina Hess
Please don’t read this blog and go away saying, “Trina Hess doesn’t like enthusiastic people. She only wants people to be quiet and read a lot of books.” Well, that second part is true, but it’s also true that I can stand a little enthusiasm now and then.
The problem is when that enthusiasm gets so great that those who are hyped-up lose touch with reality. I’ve been around this phenomenon in various settings. Instances where I felt like an outsider among pod people. I’ve seen and felt it in religious settings, among athletic aficionados, in the midst of political rallies, and of course at soccer games overseas.
”But,” you’re asking, “what’s so bad about being one of those pod people?” The same thing that’s bad about exclusion in general. It limits our influence.
Ironically enough, the solution to avoiding becoming a pod person is the same characteristic that makes humor so great.
When we can relate our enthusiasm to what people can understand, we connect.
When we connect our interest with ways that people can get involved, we inspire.
When we inspire others we convince them to join our pod people.
Enthusiasm is a wonderful quality. But only if we translate it into something that is productive on a larger level. No one wants only a few pod people at their political rally—they want everyone. We want entire stadiums of pod people, who understand our message, who can communicate with us about how to improve our pod ways, and who feel that our pod-ness is enriching their lives.
Who are the pod people in YOUR life?
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11.08.10
Posted in Humor attitude, Humor~Business, Humor~Creativity, Humor~Health & Goals at 9:52 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
On my way home from a speaking engagement in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, I noticed something majestic. That it was October in central Pennsylvania was no small thing. But that wasn’t the majesty.
As the highway droned on, the mountains rose on both sides. All of a sudden, I noticed an “X” outlining the scene. A geometric marvel, it was a perfect angular dissection of the mountainside.
It was perfect. Precise. And—totally wrong.
As I moved west along the highway, I realized that the X’s were made by mountains overlapping each other. They weren’t touching after all. It wasn’t a perfect X or a perfect anything. It was just an optical illusion. But it had seemed that everything came together, making a perfect X!
That’s the problem when we think everything’s perfect. We don’t look any further. We don’t stretch our boundaries, because literally we don’t need to—If indeed we’re right and everyone else is wrong.
Perfectionism inhibits us because it hampers our humor.
* We can’t relax—we tense.
* We can’t work together—we compete.
* We can’t expand our view—we constrict.
When we live a humor lifestyle, we challenge perfectionism. We dismantle it. And then we proceed precisely. In the direction of connection, teamwork, creativity, and clarity.
Where’s YOUR “X” today? How funny is that?
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