07.28.10
Posted in Humor~Health & Goals, Learning Identity, The Change Process at 4:39 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Humor is one aspect of what the total package of ATTITUDE is all about. But when we hear “positive attitude,” some of us cringe. Especially if our current state of mind is nowhere near, “positive.” We feel defeated, as though the only way we can be successful is to be something we’re not (at least not at this moment.) Or worse, we fake it and pretend we’re happier than we really are. Also not good.
This is like trying to fit our bodies into today’s fashions. Even if we’re pounds and years outside of the boundaries of normalcy for that piece of clothing. Our bodies and personality don’t match the fashion.
The good news: You don’t have to match. As Clinton on TLC’s “What Not To Wear” told one of the show’s models, “The clothes don’t have to match. The tones are complementary.” And that’s good enough.
As long as the tones (the intentions) of our attitude are on the right track, we CAN start from where we are now. Rigth now: are you feeling sluggish, de-motivated, or completely all-out negative? That’s your tone for now, and that’s OK. As long as it matches the intention of the direction you’re going. Toward positive.
Tomorrow, we’ll look at how to get even closer to there…
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07.26.10
Posted in Humor~Business, Humor~Creativity, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Inspirational at 4:42 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
I’ve been thinking recently about humor, and why more people don’t think it’s important. Now I know:
Humor is only one part of the equation. And the answer to that equation is ATTITUDE. Attitude is what I call that atmosphere we can generate by using our sense of humor. It’s that light-hearted space where we feel unimpeded. Where we feel free to contribute our ideas, and the place where we do our best work. The environment where we can develop our best selves.
Humor is a big part of that. But so are other things. Like our mind-body connections. Harboring negative attitudes and resentments gradually settles into our physical body. If we don’t acknowledge this facet, no amount of humor will make a lasting impression on our state of mind (and body).
But attitude doesn’t mean we should blithely put a smiley-face on our problems. Doing that can be even more destructive than staying mad! Denial of the neg’s in our life just makes them get bigger, come out in the wrong places, and fester our souls like an acid. Comedian Chonda Pierce talked about her fitting in worn-out and torn Spanx body-shaping wear: “It’s like trying to put the Pillsbury dough back into the can!” Shoving our problems under a smiley mask will just make matters worse.
Look here for more tools to develop not just your sense of humor, but also your ATTITUDE. That over-arching, all-encompassing, omni-present force that shapes our days, rules our lives, and determines our direction.
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07.23.10
Posted in Humor~Creativity, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Inspirational at 11:22 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
When I was taking therapy to recover from hand surgery, I got shocked. That tens unit shocking machine felt like someone was burning a cigarette on my arm. I told the therapist, “I think the charge on this is too high. You’d better turn it down.”
He assured me instead that the charge was OK. It was probably some impedance that changed the pH of my skin—like sweat, salt, PMS hormones, anything. So he took a wet paper towel and wiped my arm, then stuck the machine piece back on my arm.
And the pain was gone.
I am a person who has a lot of ideas. A lot. When something goes wrong, I instantly want to throw out the baby and start all over again. Something brand new. Something totally unrelated and different. Surely that will bring success. Or at least take away the pain.
But sometimes the change that’s needed is something so minor that our clever minds miss it. Sometimes we don’t have to throw out the baby. Maybe we just need to change the water.
Humor is our bathwater. The place where we can experiment, make alterations, test the waters. How our babies react to that water will determine the amount of change we can create.
Are YOU throwing out the baby before you test the water?
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07.21.10
Posted in Humor~Creativity, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Inspirational at 3:14 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Yesterday at our yoga class we learned about Santosha. No, not the rock guitarist Santana. This is contentment. An allowing of yourself to just be, accepting yourself. Whether it’s in a difficult yoga pose, or in a difficult situation at work. Just be accepting of, and content with, where and what you are here and now.
The more I thought about Santosha, the more I realized that is where good humor has to start. Sure, bad humor can start anywhere. Negative emotions are great for crafting sarcasm. Negative intentions are necessary for creating blue humor. But I’m talking about good humor. The kind that is not only funny, but uplifting, insightful, and creative.
Because if we don’t have contentment with ourselves, we can’t tap into our innate humor resources.
So how do we cultivate this Santosha?
By going to the gym. That’s where I got a great idea from a guy whose t-shirt read, “I’m a keeper.” At first I thought, “What an egotistical twenty-something jack-ass!” But the more I thought about him in his bragadoccio and obliviousness-inducing i-pod, the more insightful I became.
What if we could ALL wear that t-shirt in our minds. Every day. Knowing that we are “a keeper.” That our ideas are valid, our sense of humor unique, honest and effective. Realizing that we have all we need to accomplish the next step in our life journey. Without worrying or comparing, without scheming or self-sabotage.
I think I achieved Santosha the very next day while I was cancelling my anti-virus subscription. The process was tedious. I had two e-mail accounts going. Couldn’t find my ID code. I was very de-motivated about the entire drama.
Yet as I found the right place on the website to cancel my order, I felt clear. Unworried. Almost at peace. As a chatted online with customer service I was unworried that the task would be taken care of. And as the customer service person signed on, I knew I was on-cue.
His name? Santosh.
He’s a keeper.
I am too.
Are you?
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07.19.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor~Health & Goals at 10:04 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
“Know how you can tell a dog that’s been dropped off? He looks both ways and doesn’t know which way to go.” That’s what my neighbor told me, as we were talking about a recently found Cocker Spaniel.
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes—somewhere. Unknown. Into the reaches of the change process. The way that dog acted is also how we humans tend to react during times of transition and change.
We can’t focus, because we don’t know WHAt to focus on. Just like the lost dog, we don’t know who or where our new “owner” is—our new identity. The house where we’ll stay, where we’ll feel and be safe. We just don’t know.
One of the themes I culled from my original research on transitions was the need for belonging. This sense of community helps us to move through changing times and come out on the other side—being our true self.
The good news is that humor helps us to foster this sense of belonging. When you “get” the joke, when you collaborate with others to generate laughter, when you feel that lightness that characterizes good humor—you know you have emerged from your trying time.
“Will I ever laugh again?” asked Carrie in the first Sex and the City movie, after being jilted by Mr. Big. Her friend Miranda said, “Yes, when something is really really funny.”
And so will you, once you move through your own personal trial. When you can laugh, you’ll know not only which way to look, you’ll know which way to go next!
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07.16.10
Posted in Humor~Health & Goals at 5:04 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Everyone loves pets. Right? They’re adorable, fun, lovable. And–they also make messes. Lots of them, especially if you go on vacation.
I found an amazing product, Scotchguard. I have no idea what toxic chemicals are in this stuff, but it promises good things. It doesn’t prevent pets from expressing their anger on your carpets, but it does something better. It repels the stain. Prevents the odor. And makes clean-up much much easier.
What could be better? Maybe something like that for our human counterparts? Humor IS the Scotchguard for our relationships.
Think of it:
1. Humor repels the stain and the memory of the negative interaction. When we can (eventually) laugh together, we can begin to forget the offense.
2. Humor prevents the odor of the offending behavior transmitting itself onto our day. We can stop the fate of a fight by letting the lightness of humor air it (and us) out.
3. Humor makes the clean-up of future events much much easier. That’s because humor solidifies our ties. When we can be humorous, we can be honest, and our whole selves. And we can let others be themselves, too.
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07.14.10
Posted in Humor~Health & Goals at 4:49 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Is there anything worse than trying to find a swimming suit for the summer? It’s a process of wanting to look like somebody else. Squeezing yourself into something that doesn’t suit you (no pun intended). And feeling generally pessimistic about life itself.
Why is this?
It’s because the very nature of the swimsuit conspires against us. No one can look good in fabrics that are chock full of bionic elastic. May be useful for a ride on the Space Shuttle, but not at the beach. No one swims so fast that their suit will fly away. I’m not a swimmer but I’m pretty sure of that.
We have no problem buying underwear. It’s comfortable–no tight elastic tourniquets. We don’t care if it matches our skin tone. We don’t even care what we look like in it, because we usually don’t wear it in public.
But the swimsuit. That is another situation entirely. It IS public. VERY public, with hundreds of beach-goers ogling your every flaw. You’re conscious of your every hidden insecurity. You just generally feel bad.
So what do we do? We try to be perfect. Fit in with the crowd. Or else hide so no one will see our flashing white legs.
Funny but when we think of being funny, we’re also trying to fit into a too-tight swimsuit. Squeezing ourselves into a Don Rickles when we’re not a sarcastic person. Tugging at the niceness of Ellen Degeneres when you know you’ve got a lot more rage than she does. Backside falling out of a too-small Rita Rudner persona when you are a big-mouth. Or, having remorse at the triangle top that would have fit better on Sam Kinneson.
Here’s the solution:
1. Start with where you are. Not with what you want to or think you should be.
2. Work around your flaws, don’t deny that you have them.
3. See the bigger picture, and how small that swimming suit really is (no pun intended) in the grand scheme of life. Perspective puts us at ease.
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Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor~Health & Goals at 2:22 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes to Lake Placid, New York. Home of the mighty Adirondacks. Also home of my first stint at “real” hiking. I thought, “I can do this. I’ve finished eleven full-length 26.2 mile marathons. Alive. This hiking stuff is merely walking through the woods.”
Was I ever wrong!
Not only was the hike humid, strenuous, and difficult, it was endless. That’s because it wasn’t what I’d expected.
Our minds get like that sometimes, too.
We expect a certain outcome. We prepare for that. We think we know it all. And so—we get surprised. By our inadequacies. By our lack of knowledge. And then we berate ourselves. Or take it out on someone else.
That scene is almost as excruciating as the hike I did.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Not even on the mountain. Just apply what I did to survive the 3-hour hike.
I wasn’t strolling nicely through the woods in my borrowed camel-back waterer and hiking shorts. No! I was doing whatever it took to get up and back down the mountaintop.
Climbing ape-like over the steep rocky banks. Hand, foot, leg crawl-over, and another hand. Hoping I wouldn’t slip. Slipping anyway. Breaking to rest the ankle I had sprained 5 days earlier. Re-wrapping my sprained ankle. Scratching the bug-bites on my armpit.
I tell you, it wasn’t pretty.
And that’s where we need to start.
1. Don’t take yourself too seriously! Don’t aim for an image of perfection. That type of mindset limits what you WILL do. What you are willing to go through. And that necessarily limits your possible (positive) outcomes.
2. Be willing to try a new way. My idea of hiking has always been upright, human-like. Never did I think I would have to resort to crawling on hands and knees. But new circumstances require us to think in new ways. Be ready.
3. Look out. Be forward-looking, but not in a controlling way. Stay flexible. On your toes. Ready to accommodate anything that comes your way. We can only do this when we are stress-free, not putting on airs.
Think ahead to how your style of humor will affect people. Which branch will I grab next to pull myself up the steep bank? Is that rock stable enough for my weaker ankle? Can I step on the log over the mud, or should I try the grassy side of the trail?
We’ll climb many mountains in our lifetime. By keeping alert, flexible, and having FUN we’ll get to the top. And back again.
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07.12.10
Posted in Humor~Events, Humor~Health & Goals at 2:24 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Read part II of Food & Mood by Janet McKee. You can also read the article online and sign up for Dr. Nancy’s whole eZine series! A year’s worth of tips to creating your Best Year Yet!
Janet McKee is a board certified Holistic Health Counselor and a certified member of the American Association of Drugless Practitioners.
“Well, at age 45, I have more energy, clarity of thought and evenness of mood and emotion than I ever had in my early 30s or even 20s. It was my own serious health challenge that led me to this most amazing discovery of how wonderful and easy it is to live a healthy and energetic life. I have discovered the secret to ageless health and vitality and am pleased to share some of those secrets with you. This article will illustrate how it’s possible to counteract the negative images bombarding our minds and bodies by fueling ourselves with healthful, mood balancing nourishment.
“Food choices have a profound effect on mood, energy, clarity and overall well being. Wise choices provide the body with sustainable energy, enabling it to better deal with challenges and opportunities. Poor food choices, on the other hand, often made when tired, grumpy, irritable or even depressed, “feed” the problem instead of helping to overcome it. These decisions can lead to a downward spiral of poor food choices and cravings and less than positive mood swings, fatigue and depression. Remember, food and mood go hand in hand.
“It may sound like a slow process of cycling between food and emotion; however the actual response is quite immediate. What you put in your mouth (or what you do not put in your mouth when you skip a meal, for example) can affect how you feel both physically and emotionally. The reaction begins almost immediately and can last for several hours.
“When you make the right food choices that support well being, you experience increased energy during the day, which actually promotes restful sleep at night. Living within a positive cycle of daytime energy and high quality sleep at night, generally helps to boost mood and overall fulfillment. You will notice that you are able to think more clearly and remain focused during the day without the afternoon fatigue that many experience. It is amazing how much better you handle stress when you are well rested and well nourished. Dr. Gabriel Cousens of The Tree of Life Rejuvenation Center states that food is the foundation for healing both mind and body. By putting patients on a healthy plant based diet, he finds a 90% reduction in depression and anxiety and is able to move them off of anti-depressant medications.
“Your nervous system plays a significant role in balancing food and energy with emotional wellbeing. Everything you think and feel is a result of communication by your nerve cells through neurotransmitters. There are many chemical compounds within the body that regulate your body’s processes and can affect all aspects of what you think and feel. What you eat affects your neurotransmitters which in response will affect your energy levels and how you feel emotionally.
“Nutrients you get from food provide your neurotransmitters with what they need to do their job. If your diet does not supply the right nutrients or the right amount of nutrients to your neurotransmitters, it can adversely affect your energy and mental processes. By overdoing or under-doing any particular nutrient, such as fat, protein or carbohydrates, you can cause imbalances which may lead to erratic emotions, irritability, and difficulty in thinking clearly or even depression. The nervous system requires a balance of proper nutrients to keep it healthy and ultimately keep you happy!!
“Food additives such as artificial sweeteners, colorings, preservatives, flavorings etc… can dramatically alter the function of neurotransmitters and enzymes. All of these, especially if used over time, can negatively affect your clarity of thought and emotions, not to mention your physical wellbeing.
“One neurotransmitter closely regulated by diet is serotonin. Serotonin can affect both mood and food cravings. Studies show that eating a meal high in protein lowers serotonin levels because the blood is flooded with amino acids that compete for entry into the brain. Tryptophan, a precursor to serotonin, is blocked from getting into the brain where it is sorely needed at certain times of the day or evening. As a result, serotonin levels do not rise after a meal high in protein. Conversely, if a person consumes a carbohydrate rich meal, tryptophan easily enters the brain, is converted into serotonin, and mood and sleep patterns improve.
“Endorphins and other chemicals are produced in the appetite control center of your brain (hypothalamus) and release a group of appetite stimulating neurotransmitters that perk up your desire to eat. In addition to calming you during times of stress and creating feelings of euphoria, endorphins also result in a desire to eat creamy sweet foods. Satisfying these cravings only raises the endorphins in your body further creating a greater desire for more sweets. The stress hormone, corticosterone, also triggers these chemicals to rise which is why you likely crave foods like ice cream at the end of a stressful day.
“Which foods affect body chemistry most dramatically? Well, we know that when we eat foods that are high in sugar or refined carbohydrates, our bodies go through radical chemical fluctuations, throwing us into unbalanced swings of energy and mood. Conversely, when we eat foods that are complex in nature, such as fruits, vegetables, beans, or whole grains like brown rice or steel cut oatmeal, changes to our blood chemistry are slow and stable thus keeping us in balance. From a nutritional perspective, staying in balance is key. The goal is not to deprive yourself of tastes and textures that you enjoy and crave, but rather to make choices that satisfy your cravings while supporting your health and wellbeing at both the physical and emotional level.”
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Posted in Humor~Events, Humor~Health & Goals at 2:19 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Here is the first part of Janet McKee’s article for Dr. Nancy Mramor’s The Happiness Project. Janet McKee is a board certified Holistic Health Counselor and a certified member of the American Association of Drugless Practitioners.
“Happiness…It’s what we all want out of life. Being vibrant, healthy and full of vitality is the key to not only a good life, but one that is happy and fulfilling. Well it is certainly difficult to be happy when our health is challenged, but understanding the major role food plays and knowing that choosing foods that support our health can be fun, delicious and satisfying puts us in control.
“These days, society doesn’t make it easy to be healthy or happy. We set our alarms to jolt us out of bed in the morning and are so exhausted that we can’t begin the day without a cup of coffee and some sugary processed foods, void of any real nutrient support for our mind and body. We start our day on a caffeine and sugar high only to crash mid-morning leading us to grab for yet another caffeine or sugar boost to prop us up. We feel under constant pressure as we hurry through our day filling our bodies with over processed, chemicalized, and denatured foods. We wonder why we can’t concentrate or think clearly and why we don’t have the energy and clarity we once had. We chalk it up to the false assumption that it must be aging.”
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