12.20.12
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor~Events, Humor~Health & Goals, Stress and Change, humor & hope at 1:47 am by Dr. Trina Hess
I decided to bring back Comedy Around the World. This week’s episode goes shopping for Christmas presents!
Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year. It’s right up there with Groundhog Day and April Fool’s Day. But not for the reasons you may think. It’s not because people are in a good mood, or willing to be kind to one another. That’s old hat.
I love this time of year because people are willing to go completely off the chain of logic and reason.
We claim that Christmas is a stressful time. But in fact, we’re throwing OFF our stress-inducing habits.
* We’re NOT hypervigilant about gas prices when there’s shopping to be done.
* We’re NOT paranoid about keeping to our time schedules.
* We DON’T care about our diets.
* We are solely focused on having FUN.
Here are some examples I’ve witnessed (or committed) myself:
1. People are completely un-gas-saving. Forgot a present for someone? Just drive another 30 miles out of your way. It’s a gift. It’s Christmas. If you’re in Pittsburgh, perhaps you could drive over to Robinson Town Centre.
2. People are wholly unselfish. I was about to pay for my groceries at the Amish smashed can store when the owner handed me a pen. I said, “I’ve already signed UP for the free gift certificate.” I had obeyed the sign that read, ”Just write your name and phone number.” Where they were getting a phone, I didn’t know. He said, “NO! This is a GIFT!” Completely unnatural especially since the store sells $4.95 health food store crackers for .35 cents. Insane!
3. People jump start their impulsiveness by throwing out their schedules. Have to get up at 5:30 a.m. for work? Doesn’t matter, stores are open until 10. And you will go shopping, because it is Christmastime.
What other time of the year lets us let ourselves be so free, so unfettered, and at ease? No, we’re not non-conformist—at this time of year EVERYone is being nonconformist. But we ARE being truer to ourselves.
Staying up late when we shouldn’t.
Eating sugar-laden foods haphazardly because friends are near.
Driving maniacally from store to store when gas is $4.52 a gallon.
Nonsense!
Madness!
And very, very FUN.
What are YOU doing that is irrational and illogical this Christmas season? How funny (and STRESS-FREE) is THAT?
Living Between the Extremes is the research study Dr. Trina Hess conducted at Penn State University. Subtitled, “How do single, mid-life women reconstruct their identity after a work transition,” the study highlights those tools that describe and inform the process of change. Find out about the change programs offered by Dr. Trina Hess atwww.trinahess.com
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02.21.12
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor & change, Learning Identity, The Change Process, humor & hope, www.HumorAcademy.com at 10:28 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Today is Mardi Gras. And so, today’s Comedy Around the World goes–where else–to New Orleans.
Someone asked me what my favorite Mardi Gras memory was. Who remembers those things, right? Well I do remember my worst Mardi Gras.
It was during the running of the “Mardi Gras” Marathon. I put that in quotation marks more out of sarcasm than proper grammar. You see, the race was not during Mardi Gras—it wasn’t even in the same week. Mardi Gras seemed merely to indicate we would be running in New Orleans.
My vision was a big celebration, lots of noise, lights, beads, singing, dancing, and of course, unfortunately, running.
What happened was silence. Asphalt. Distance. And pain.
The race happened on a Sunday morning. Yes, in New Orleans. I’m not familiar with the town, but apparently there are no people out on Sunday mornings in New Orleans. Not only were there no people, there was no quaint running course that would traverse the historic town and its French roots, fine food and world-famous music.
There was none of that.
But there were transvestites! At each water station, groups of people—mostly men—competed to see who could win the prize for most outrageous costume.
Amidst all my pain, disappointment and more pain, there was a spark of hope in a red dress and heels, handing me a cup of water. (At least I am hoping it was water). I almost felt less pain as I took the cup and laughed as I drank. Then I looked forward to the next water station, and the next. Not just for the water, but for the distraction. For the joy and for the hope.
I could almost picture the finish line, and even my finishing the race. But that wasn’t at the forefront anymore. Now there was something else, another reason to keep running. A motivation beyond a personal-best time or a medal.
There was the hope, connection, and camaraderie with the people who know how important it is to LAUGH. Especially through the difficult changes of mile after mile on asphalt in a quiet, sleeping city.
Who is handing YOU water today? How funny is THAT?
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04.28.11
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor attitude, The Change Process, www.HumorAcademy.com at 1:43 am by Dr. Trina Hess
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes cold Turkey.
The Turkish Empire in January isn’t a very warm place. Not just the temperature is extreme, so is the language, the food, the geography and the music and art. The volume of newness I encountered the first time I was in Turkey was represented in the Anatolian designs I saw at Cappodocia.
In this ancient city people made homes in the Smurf-like tall caves that stood separately from one another, seemingly randomly dotting the landscape. The strangeness of this Smurf land was compounded by the cold winter air, the snow, and especially the muddy slush I had to walk through to get to one of the structures.
However: Once there, in the warmth of the odd cove, I relaxed amidst the tapestries that were strewn over the couches by the wall, by the window. Scattered rugs, throws, and probably garments all with their own scattered patterns of multi-colored yarns organized in a vivid, dizzying array.
Strangely calming, that’s what it was. That’s what I felt sitting and drinking the complimentary and compulsory Turkish tea served to me. It was as if the confusion of the journey and the complexity of the designs all around me dissipated into the calm.
Just think if we could translate that centered-ness into our own dizzying array of life. What would that mean for our productivity, our sense of play, our happiness? The good news is that we CAN add the centered-ness of humor into our day. We just have to:
1. be brave enough to look at the dizziness
2. realize that we are separate threads that are not sewn into anything unchangeable
If we cultivate this calm even in the midst of the messiness of life, we can create a tapestry that supports, warms, and entertains us.
How funny is THAT?
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04.11.11
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor attitude, Humor~Inspirational, www.HumorAcademy.com at 9:56 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Or—in the air. This week’s Comedy Around the World goes home.
Last night late I came back to Pittsburgh International Airport. After leaving from a place like Orlando I generally expect the weather at home to be about 20 degrees colder, give or take 40 degrees.
But surprisingly enough, it was a warm night. The moon was out and there was a nice breeze. So I decided to walk the disjointed maze that is extended parking, and find my car by foot instead of waiting for the shuttle.
When I stopped off the highway to get some caffeine, two clerks were smoking outside the doors. I asked them, “Are you still open now?”
They said, “Yes, we just didn’t want to stay inside, it’s too nice out here!”
I said, “I know!” and told them about my parking lot walk.
That’s the way humor is. It’s like that warm night air. It’s everywhere. It’s in the ether.
We just don’t always see or feel it because of other distractions.
Maybe we wanted to be in the air conditioning.
Maybe we went to bed already.
Maybe we decided to go inside and listen to music or watch tv.
Maybe we were outside but had other thoughts in our minds so that we didn’t even notice the pleasant evening.
People sometimes ask how I can be so quick with my remarks to hecklers or other Q&A participants. My answer: I love hecklers. THEY are out in the warm night air. They feel the ether, and together we’re both merely reaching up and grabbing humor elements out of thin air. LIterally.
But in order to do this, you have to meet certain criteria. You have to be outside (though not necessarily with a cigarette). In the fray. Part of the mix.
And then just let yourself enjoy. Just like you don’t have to force yourself to enjoy a warm breeze, or a glimpse at the moon, you shouldn’t have to force yourself to find, use, or experience humor.
What’s the temperature like where YOU are? How funny is THAT?
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02.08.11
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor attitude at 6:18 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Humor is all about details. Putting the right emphasis on the punch word. Arranging the words in the sentence in the correct, funny, order. Pinpointing a single idea and milking it for all the funny it’s worth.
But humor is also—and more importantly—about truth.
Truth requires us to see the big picture. Even, and maybe especially, those parts that aren’t so much fun.
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes to Maryland. On a visit to this nearby state last Fall, I learned a lot of things. This area near the Chesapeake Bay was where Dr. Mudd worked. Here’s where he healed John Wilkes Booth after he broke his leg from jumping off the balcony after shooting Lincoln at the Ford Theater. That bit of helpfulness also gave us the phrase, “Your name is mud.”
I have to admit, I didn’t pay very close attention in school. I must have missed the gist of a lot of things in Western Civ. classes. In fact, when I went to Greece a few years ago and actually saw the Parthenon I exclaimed, “Where did that come from?!”
But we’re all like that at times. Maybe you do know who built the Parthenon, but do you know:
why you continue to hold on to ineffective habits? Or—
why we delude ourselves about truths we should be seeing and dealing with?
Maybe that’s why it’s so hard to take ourselves less seriously.
–We’re serious about our secrets!
–We’re adamant that we don’t want to dig up the past!
–We’re protective of our opinions and don’t want them altered!
The Mudd house wasn’t the only surprising ‘new’ factoid I learned that trip. I also saw the former slave houses. Only one state away from me, this heinous treatment of our fellow Americans had happened. It was unbelievable to me that I hadn’t heard about this every day in school.
Sure it was disgusting. Sure it’s painful and blame-worthy. But it’s also a part of what makes us who we are on this day. And tomorrow—IF we will take it, dismantle it, deal with it, and incorporate it. Then, and only then, will it be—truly—funny.
What are YOU being a slave to today? How funny can you make THAT?
Dr. Trina Hess works with organizations that want to laugh their way through difficult change. trina@yourshiningexample.com
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01.11.11
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor attitude, Humor~Business at 10:03 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
Part of the conversation went something like this:
“Every time she buys plane tickets online, she panics. She’ll find a low price, and
then have second thoughts and the price will go up. And then when the price comes back down, she’ll panic again, and buy the ticket. After she hits “Send” she’ll panic again and have regrets.”
I nodded politely and then ducked out, because that friend’s process was also the same that I use when buying plane tickets online!
Why do we do this? I wondered. Why do we panic in the face of choice. The answer lies in the lack. The lack of a humorous perspective underlying the decision-making process.
Unfortunately some people live in this atmosphere at work, at home, in other situations in life. It’s not pleasant. We can’t relax. We can’t focus enough to KNOW for sure that we HAVE made a good decision.
This Week’s Comedy around the World is leaving. On a jet plane. You pick the destination.
What is happening here?
1. The stakes are high. Plane tickets aren’t usually a small purchase. We know we have to make a right decision.
2. We think that because these stakes are so high, our decision has to be the perfect one. Right isn’t good enough.
3. We are paralyzed by the fear of not making a right choice. This fear spills out into other areas that have nothing to DO with purchasing the plane ticket.
4. Your whole life now hinges on your decision. You’d better not have a medical emergency on the date you’re to fly. And no other types of unforeseen happenings had better happen either. There is no leeway for spontaneity.
And so in our workplace it looks like this:
1. The stakes are high. Your wrong choice could cost you your job, respect, working relationships, etc.
2. Naturally our thoughts turn to perfectionism and following its deadly dictate.
3. This path to perfection puts us in a scissor-hold and binds us into a paradox. We’re unable to make a perfect (or any) decision because we know in our hearts that perfection does not exist.
4. We may have experience in witnessing what happens when people mess up. Bosses aren’t tolerant. Co-workers aren’t amused.
5. Because you leapt into the vortex of perfectionism, all other parts of your life must revolve around this central point. Your mind is consumed with how to get things to perfect.
How much easier it is with a HUMOR outlook. Humor is the centripetal force that embraces, encourages, enlivens us to make decisions fearlessly. Humor evokes
* Calmness
* Connectivity to others
* Creativity
When we live with and in HUMOR, we are free to choose and we are free from the fear of being punished for wrong decisions. The HUMOR process unleashes our creative powers and lightens the teamwork load.
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01.01.11
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor attitude, Humor~Creativity, The Change Process, www.yourshiningexample.com at 1:28 am by Dr. Trina Hess
This week’s Comedy Around the World celebrates New Year’s Eve in Israel. When I was in this intricate, intriguing country, everything was new to me. The street signs written in Hebrew, the foods with a tinge of Middle Eastern cuisine, the personality of the Israelis.
But on that New Year’s Eve, I was reminded of how not so common, common sense is.
In Tel Aviv there was a dance club called Soweto. They played all the best reggae music. All the hip kids were there. And me.
It was nearly midnight. I was excited to bring in the new year in this new country. But a strange thing happened. No one else seemed excited. No one was counting down, ten, nine, eight…
Only I was, and a few Swedish tourists. That was it.
Later I found out that Israel’s New Year falls somewhere in the Fall of the year!
What?!
January 1st isn’t the New Year?!
I was shocked and more than a little disappointed.
Funny, isn’t it. How we are convinced that everyone understands our message? This evening marks our opportunity to start our own personal revolution. Our chance to connect, create, and crash through our perfectionistic tendencies that close us off to new experiences. Let’s go!
Funny, isn’t it. How we think that our way will bring people together and make them pleased?
Funny, isn’t it. How in our certainty we close the door to any hope of new discoveries?
What will allow the new year bring YOU? How funny is THAT?
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12.26.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor attitude at 7:12 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
I posted on Facebook that I don’t like the “Christmas Story” movie. You know, the one with the blond-haired boy with glasses. It never registered with me. Maybe because I’m not a boy. Maybe because I didn’t like the voice-over mystique. Maybe because I just didn’t LIKE it.
To me, that movie was dangerous. Because it slapped the essence of HUMOR right in the face.
1. It ruined the connection (with non-like-minded viewers). If the scene and characters didn’t resonate with you, you couldn’t laugh. There was nothing in it for you.
2. Having a favorite film-of-all-time makes it bullet-proof. We can’t criticize, comment on, or improve on it. It’s perfect. Hands off!
3. It silences people from telling their true feelings about the worshipped icon. They don’t want to be ostracized, so they just go along with the crowd.
The danger in having a cult favorite movie is that we distance others who DON’T share our opinion. We, in effect, silence them. After all, who (besides me) wants to be the one to announce that they don’t like something that the majority absolutely loves? We can’t improve on something that’s already perfection. And we close the door on the connection that humor is supposed to generate.
Even when it means distancing others, we still want our choice to be #1.
Even when it doesn’t matter, we’re still wanting our team to win!
What’s YOUR favorite holiday movie? Are you willing to know what people really think of your movie?
How funny is THAT?
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12.22.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor attitude, Humor~Health & Goals at 4:35 am by Dr. Trina Hess
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes shopping for Christmas presents. Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year. It’s right up there with Groundhog Day and April Fool’s. But not for the reasons you may think. Not because people are in a good mood, or willing to be kind to one another. That’s old hat.
I love this time of year because people are willing to go completely off the logic & reason chain.
We claim that Christmas is a stressful time. But in fact, we’re throwing OFF our stress-inducing habits.
* We’re NOT hypervigilant about gas prices when there’s shopping to be done.
* We’re NOT paranoid about keeping to our time schedules.
* We DON’T care about our diets.
* We are solely focused on having FUN.
Here are some examples I’ve witnessed (or committed) myself:
1. People are completely un-gas-saving. Forgot a present for someone? Just drive another 30 miles out of your way. It’s a gift. It’s Christmas.
2. People are wholly unselfish. I was about to pay for my groceries at the Amish smashed can store when the owner handed me a pen. I said, “I’ve already signed UP for the free gift certificate.” (”Just write your name and phone number,” the sign read…). He said, “NO! This is a GIFT!” Completely unnatural especially since the store sells $4.95 health food store crackers for .35 cents. Insane!
3. People jump start their impulsiveness by throwing out their schedules. Have to get up at 5:30 a.m. for work? Doesn’t matter, stores are open until 10. And you shop, because it’s Christmastime.
What other time of the year lets us let ourselves be so free, so unfettered, and at ease? No, we’re not non-conformist (because EVERYone is being nonconformist this time of year). But we ARE being truer to ourselves. Staying up late when we shouldn’t. Eating sugar-laden foods haphazardly because friends are near. Driving maniacally from store to store when gas is $3.09 a gallon.
Nonsense!
Madness!
And very, very FUN.
What irrational and illogical things are YOU doing this Christmas season? How funny is THAT?
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12.04.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor attitude, Humor~Inspirational at 8:37 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
visit YourShiningExample.com today! 
While at Yosemite one night, I looked up at the stars. Majestic. Vast.
I couldn’t stop looking.
At first, I thought excitedly, “I should go get the camera!” But I stopped myself. In the first place, a camera couldn’t capture the exact thing that I was seeing.
In the second place, a camera would interrupt my viewing pleasure.
In the third place, a camera would limit the wondrousness of Yosemite’s stars.
A photograph may even diminish the experience my memory had constructed.
”You had to BE there”-style humor is like that, too.
**We can’t bottle it, capture it on film, or reproduce it.
**It depends on the very specific players present and how and why and in what degree they interact.
**They together create the magic that IS THEIR humor.
**And it becomes their trademark, their way of communally coping, their hope for a better next step.
We can’t control where our humor will lead us any more than I could control the Yosemite star view by stopping it within a photograph.
You simply have to “be there.” And allow it to overtake you with its magic.
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