07.26.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World at 5:27 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
In the book, “The Seven Levels of Intimacy,” author Matthew Kelly talks about ways that we can nourish intimacy with others. He proscribes times of time-less-ness. You can set a date, but within that time frame, there is no agenda. This procedure makes for a much more relaxed, open and fun atmosphere. Sound like humor? This is the way I usually travel.
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes to Norway. I remember the train pulling up in Oslo, Norway. I was giving myself a break from my first-ever marathon in Berlin, Germany. The first marathon I completed without going to the hospital.
I couldn’t walk upright very well, and still had constant pain all through my body. I had no idea where to stay and didn’t speak the language. But strangely, none of that mattered. I had no energy to make that matter!
All I could do was go through the day(s) and let the city happen to me. I wasn’t on a schedule, because I hadn’t researched any of the city’s landmarks. All I had was a general goal to visit Vigeland Statue Park. I had seen pictures that my friend Mike showed when he visited there on a break from his year-long study in Germany. Other than that, my days were wide open.
That seemingly chaotic time turned out to be one of the most pleasant trips I have ever experienced. Pleasant because it was unstructured. Fun because there were no deadlines, no tasks to accomplish. My only purpose was to enjoy myself in Oslo.
What day will YOU plan for your time-less-ness excursion?
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07.19.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor~Health & Goals at 10:04 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
“Know how you can tell a dog that’s been dropped off? He looks both ways and doesn’t know which way to go.” That’s what my neighbor told me, as we were talking about a recently found Cocker Spaniel.
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes—somewhere. Unknown. Into the reaches of the change process. The way that dog acted is also how we humans tend to react during times of transition and change.
We can’t focus, because we don’t know WHAt to focus on. Just like the lost dog, we don’t know who or where our new “owner” is—our new identity. The house where we’ll stay, where we’ll feel and be safe. We just don’t know.
One of the themes I culled from my original research on transitions was the need for belonging. This sense of community helps us to move through changing times and come out on the other side—being our true self.
The good news is that humor helps us to foster this sense of belonging. When you “get” the joke, when you collaborate with others to generate laughter, when you feel that lightness that characterizes good humor—you know you have emerged from your trying time.
“Will I ever laugh again?” asked Carrie in the first Sex and the City movie, after being jilted by Mr. Big. Her friend Miranda said, “Yes, when something is really really funny.”
And so will you, once you move through your own personal trial. When you can laugh, you’ll know not only which way to look, you’ll know which way to go next!
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07.14.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor~Health & Goals at 2:22 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes to Lake Placid, New York. Home of the mighty Adirondacks. Also home of my first stint at “real” hiking. I thought, “I can do this. I’ve finished eleven full-length 26.2 mile marathons. Alive. This hiking stuff is merely walking through the woods.”
Was I ever wrong!
Not only was the hike humid, strenuous, and difficult, it was endless. That’s because it wasn’t what I’d expected.
Our minds get like that sometimes, too.
We expect a certain outcome. We prepare for that. We think we know it all. And so—we get surprised. By our inadequacies. By our lack of knowledge. And then we berate ourselves. Or take it out on someone else.
That scene is almost as excruciating as the hike I did.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Not even on the mountain. Just apply what I did to survive the 3-hour hike.
I wasn’t strolling nicely through the woods in my borrowed camel-back waterer and hiking shorts. No! I was doing whatever it took to get up and back down the mountaintop.
Climbing ape-like over the steep rocky banks. Hand, foot, leg crawl-over, and another hand. Hoping I wouldn’t slip. Slipping anyway. Breaking to rest the ankle I had sprained 5 days earlier. Re-wrapping my sprained ankle. Scratching the bug-bites on my armpit.
I tell you, it wasn’t pretty.
And that’s where we need to start.
1. Don’t take yourself too seriously! Don’t aim for an image of perfection. That type of mindset limits what you WILL do. What you are willing to go through. And that necessarily limits your possible (positive) outcomes.
2. Be willing to try a new way. My idea of hiking has always been upright, human-like. Never did I think I would have to resort to crawling on hands and knees. But new circumstances require us to think in new ways. Be ready.
3. Look out. Be forward-looking, but not in a controlling way. Stay flexible. On your toes. Ready to accommodate anything that comes your way. We can only do this when we are stress-free, not putting on airs.
Think ahead to how your style of humor will affect people. Which branch will I grab next to pull myself up the steep bank? Is that rock stable enough for my weaker ankle? Can I step on the log over the mud, or should I try the grassy side of the trail?
We’ll climb many mountains in our lifetime. By keeping alert, flexible, and having FUN we’ll get to the top. And back again.
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07.06.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World at 9:51 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes to an obvious place—to see Fireworks! I’m fascinated not only by how people change their behavior during the 4th of July, but also the deeper meaning behind the fireworks we see.
No matter where you go to see the fireworks people act the same. And, no matter what holiday it is—could be the Regatta in Pittsburgh, Groundhog Day, or just your neighbor’s creative and expensive hobby.
Watch the people next time, instead of the fireworks. People become strangely entranced. Everyone around you becomes silent. They are absorbing what they see. Making meaning for themselves.
Not everyone appreciates fireworks, though. My dog hides. Another dog I know runs out of the house to bark at and join in with all the noise.
We do the same thing with humor. To one person, sarcasm is hurtful. To another it’s brilliant. With enough time, it may even be funny for you.
Humor is like fireworks. We decide it’s meaning, and we decide our reaction to it.
Likewise humor can be as dangerous as stray fireworks. Searing connections, burning through solid relationships. Injuring.
The good thing is that humor is under our control. Just like fireworks, if you take precautions, you won’t get hurt. And you won’t hurt others, either. You may just create a fun environment.
Best of all, you don’t have to go to Ohio to buy it cheaper.
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06.27.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Inspirational at 11:12 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes to the bike trail. What used to be miles and miles of railroad are now miles and miles of bike trails in Western Pennsylvania.
Occasionally you’ll encounter tunnels that are hard to naviagte. That’s because you can’t always see to the end of them. Especially if there is a bend in the tunnel.
What do you do? You follow the reflectors that line the middle of the bike path. If you keep your eyes on the reflectors, you’ll make it safely to the other side.
Humor is a reflector, too. If we are attentive to the responses we get, we can gradually adjust and fine-tune our contribution. That way, we need never fear that we’ll offend someone with our humor. Why not?
1. We are initiating a connection. A relationship that says, “I care enough (about you) to help you see things more lightly.”
2. We are keeping and allowing perspectives—ours and other people’s. Humor is based on seeing things in a different way. And allowing that our way may not be the most clever!
3. We aren’t taking ourselves too seriously. Even if we may offend, we don’t have to let it ruin our day. We can stay on our toes and constantly adjust. Moving like water, and coming through the other side.
When we keep our eyes on the reflectors that others give us, we can use our humor effectively and make it out of the tunnel safely.
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06.20.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Inspirational at 6:27 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
This Week’s Comedy Around the World goes to Vienna, Austria. To show how our humor can get quashed.
Recently I’ve been doubting the need for humor. Wondering where my target audience is, and if they are indeed on another planet, as I’ve often suspected. The more I wonder who could use humor, the more de-motivated I become. And the harder I try to market my services to an unavailable and invisible audience. And the more frustrated I become.
Great comedy, huh, folks?
Sounds more like the cycle of perfectionism, doesn’t it? That cycle looks like this: If something isn’t working, we’re taught in our capitalist culture to try harder. Get stronger. Beat the competition. Stay ahead.
Not to examine our path. Not re-think our strategy. Not to ask, “Am I still having fun?”
One of my professors at Penn State, Ian Baptiste, used to rephrase the often-quoted, “If you teach a man to fish….” He would always ask, instead, “Why are we fishing?” Why aren’t we hunting. Or trapping. Or just being a vegetarian and picking some berries?
In the confusion of de-motivation, we don’t often think straight. Or think creatively. We just get into compete mode and stay there. No matter how painful it becomes, or how little fun we’re having.
I used to travel this way. Just covering ground. Seeing how many ‘famous’ buildings and scenery I could see in a winter-long period.
But pretty soon all the cathedrals blended together. Sometimes I would wake up and not remember which country I was in. “You’ve seen one beach, you’ve seen them all,” one of my traveling friends would say. And to this day, that is true. I don’t even like the beach. I’ve seen too many of them. And they really are (or seem, to me) all the same.
But this travel-malaise was brought to a halt when I met a certain person in Vienna. He was one of the many hostel-dwellers that I had met on my six-month Euro-tour. He embodied what humor is all about. He was carefree. Easygoing. Not worried about anything.
I asked him whether he was going to see one of the discounted-ticket shows that the hostel advertised. Or maybe one of the palaces in Vienna. Or—the Stallions?
He didn’t answer “Yes” to any of those. He said he was going to go buy one of the pastries that Vienna is famous for. And then he was going to sit on the steps of one of the opera houses. And just eat the pastry.
I couldn’t believe it! He was wasting precious Euro-time. With centuries-old things to see, we tourists have to move fast here!
But he wasn’t doing that. He was just stepping back, sitting still. And having fun. Are you in a quandry about your next move, your next step or direction? Why not buy a pastry and go to the opera. And don’t forget to ask, “Am I having fun?”
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06.15.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor~Creativity, Humor~Inspirational at 8:56 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes to Ohio. Again. To the tiny town of Clifton, home of one of the largest water powered grist mills still in existence. I knew this was a small town after we had driven past places with names like, “Fishworm Road.”
What struck me about Clifton was how it was so much like humor.
1. It was surprising. At first, the surrounding area seems dull, flat, farm-like. Nothing is there. And then, all of a sudden, there is a tiny old-time main street. With ancient (to Americans) buildings and features.
2. It was simple. Just like the best humor, Clifton was a simple place. The requisite water mill, store, covered bridge, and a random building off in the distance. But in its simplicity it was calming.
3. It was unusual. In its simplicity. That’s because most times, most places, we are bombarded with things. Information. Noises. Technology. People. But not here. The simplicity brought me back.
4. I allowed our humanity. The simplicity drew me to the fact that I was not the only one who was fascinated by this simple mill town. Other tourists were there, taking pictures of the covered bridge, marveling at the rushing waters underneath the mill wheel.
The unusual is captivating, simple, takes us by surprise, and reminds us of our common human situation.
How do people experience YOUR humor?
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06.10.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor~Inspirational, www.yourshiningexample.com at 5:36 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes kayaking along the Allegheny River. My friend Mike taught me how to kayak. We started out on a small lake. Then I graduated to
Moraine State Park, and their gigantic lake there. I was afraid at first, because the lake area had been a former glacier. So it was a BIG Lake. And, the middle of the lake would be very deep.
But after kayaking on the lake for several hours, I wasn’t worried anymore about drowning. In fact, although my shoulders were hurting, I was actually enjoying paddling the waves. It wasn’t scary anymore. Because it had become fun.
Then, Mike invited me to kayak on the Allegheny River. I said no. It was moving water. It would be too scary. I would never survive.
A few years went by and I had (and took) the opportunity to kayak on a small creek. The water there was very fast. There was little time to relax. It wasn’t at all like the lake. But it was fun because it was something completely different than anything I’d ever tried.
A funny thing happened yesterday. I drove by the Allegheny River and looked at it through my car window. It didn’t seem so threatening anymore. I learned that river water is much slower than stream water. What I had (already) done on the creek had been much more death-defying than kayaking on the river would have been.
And I had no idea while I was on the creek.
I was just there for fun.
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05.31.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor~Business, Humor~Events, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~In The News, Humor~Inspirational, www.yourshiningexample.com at 4:14 am by Dr. Trina Hess
Today’s Comedy Around the World goes to Athens, Greece. Home of the first ever marathon race, 26.2 miles.
When I signed up to run the race with the Leukemia Society’s Team in Training marathon fund-raising program, I pictured a big party. After all, that year marked the 100th anniversary of the running from Marathon into Athens during the war. The runner died at the end, but that was beside the point. This would be a big party! Lots of excitement! History, athletics, fun!
Was I ever wrong.
That race taught me a lot. From that fiasco I got:
1. A crash-course in perceptions. What was marketed as a majestic event was in reality a tragic disaster. Note to self: The Greek people are not into fitness or—apparently history, either. At least not the kind of history that involves fitness activities. Another note to self: it’s very, very bad to run a marathon in 80+ degree (F) heat with little water, and completely on pavement. Especially when all your training was done on the soft, snow-packed roads of rural Western Pennsylvania.
2. A better way to train. The guest speaker for our pre-race workshop was Jeff Galloway. He gave us his training regimen. I followed it in the next marathon I ran, in Anchorage. It was my most enjoyable marathon ever. If indeed there can be such a thing as an enjoyable marathon.
3. To trust that people will pull together and create a fun or at least a manageable event, even in times of crisis. As those of us in the back-of-the-pack clamored for water in the sweltering heat, sometimes picking up discarded bottles along the road, a funny thing happened. People who had intact bottles of water were sharing it with strangers. Runners noticed the other runners who were distressed and shared their water from their backpacks. Everyone was in pain, but some still found the strength to care for the others left behind. It was an amazing thing to see and a scene I will always remember.
4. What works for one sector, faction, or business may not work for yours. Like I mentioned in 1., the Greek people weren’t all that excited about this race. At least not by the time my fragmented body wandered into the finish area in downtown Athens, which was—ironically enough—in the Olympic stadium. I realized I may have been reliving the death scene that occurred at the end of the original marathon. There was no parade hailing me to the finish line. Instead, I had to wend my way around rush-hour traffic that had smog that was unbearable. I didn’t know which was more dangerous, breathing the smog or holding my breath.
5. Look at all the aspects, all sides of the issue. If I would have done my research, I could have known that Athens would be quiet that day. That I would have to motivate myself, rather than rely on the kindness of Greek strangers. I would have found out the race course, and that it included absolutely no grass or snow or other soft surfaces. I would have known that the water was only rationed according to your own tour group. There’s nothing like seeing an oasis of water bottles and dragging yourself there only to find out that it’s for another charity group, not yours. Had that group been less rigid and inflexible, they would have saved several of us runners from heat exhaustion.
Your “100th Anniversary” celebration is your way of creating a humorous atmosphere. Make sure the celebration that others join is the same one you’ve envisioned. And bring enough water for everyone! to others as you;re picturing it for yourself?
Inflexibility, inefficient facts,
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05.24.10
Posted in Comedy Around The World, Humor~Creativity, Humor~Health & Goals, Humor~Inspirational at 3:52 pm by Dr. Trina Hess
This week’s Comedy Around the World goes to Cook Forest, in Western Pennsylvania. I saw a sign while I was hiking there yesterday. It was near the
Forest Cathedral Area.
Sign said, “Be sure to leave no trace of your presence” when you leave the forest.
What an odd and refreshing message. Usually we’re told to stamp our mark on everything. Brand your message. Copyright your writings. Protect your privacy.
But here in the woods it’s a different story. They don’t want to know you. Don’t want your footprints, your pawprints or your trash.
Isn’t that the way we go about creating new products? We make sure we’re not stealing someone else’s URL for our website. Make sure our article is “original”. But all over our creation is US. We are there, not the thing created.
What if we could adopt the forest’s policy and leave no trace of us, of our ego. How much loftier, richer, vital would our products be if we weren’t in them. If we didn’t worry about how many laughs our jokes are getting, or how well our product will do compared to our competitor? If we weren’t concerned with how many people adored our creative prowess and instead we just created. Just for the sake of being a valuable channel between the universe and utility.
How? By following some of the rules of the forest.
1. Pick up your garbage. Get rid of anything that’s holding back your ideas. Past failures, future catastrophies and negative weighing-downers.
2. Don’t disturb the wildlife that’s here. Don’t decry an idea because it seems stupid, useless, or unprofitable.
3. Respect the community of the forest. Look beyond immediacy and self-serving motives. What can your idea do to impact, connect, and enlarge the world around you?
What kind of cathedral are you creating? And what kinds of footprints are you leaving?
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