Naomi Rhode, RDH, CSP, CPAE Speakers Hall of Fame, is an in-demand speaker.  Why?  Because her speeches follow the principle of having a strong identification with the audience's locale.  

When I do comedy shows, sometimes I'll comment on my trip to the show.  I'll talk about where I got lost (I have a low-tech GPS.  It's called, "Go Pester Someone at Sheetz."); the people and places I saw en route to the show; and other minor observations about the locale.  But--those "minor" things are MAJOR things to the audience.  Usually those are some of my biggest laughs! 

Today I was susbsitute teaching in a high school music department.  I read something  in my room that may resonate with "real" music teachers and their teaching locale .  Here goes: 

"How to Win the Scorn of Your Choral Director.  Or:  How to Flunk Chorus Without Really Trying. 

1.  When entering the room, inquire in a loud voice, 'Do we have to sing today?'

2.  Come to class late.  When you do arrive, don't appear to be in any hurry. 

3.  Never bring a pencil to class.

4.  Ask permission not to sing at least once a week because of some illness.  When you do sit out, be sure to work on homework for some other class to show how much you are really concerned about chorus.

5.  Chew gum and especially while singing.

6.  Say you hate a song after hearing it only once.

7.  Come to class moving at a slow pace and complain about anything you can think of. 

8.  Say you hate sight singing or interval training and moan while doing it.

9.  Ask to be excused from class for dumb things like buying carnations or making calls.

10.  Write unnecessary things on books and music.

11.  Complain when told to stand up and sing.  Then move slowly while doing so. 

12.  Always question everything the director tells you to do, even if you understand why you are doing it.

13.  When the director is becoming very emotional about the aesthetic value of the music, ask what time class is over.

14.  Ask when the next concert is the day of the concert.

15.  Miss concerts to do important things like visiting your grandmother, bathing the dog and brushing your teeth.

16.  Be sure to throw away schedules of performances and concerts that are given you weeks and months in advance.  Don't show them to parents and bosses so that two days before the concert you can say you will be on vacation for the concert or have to work that night.

17.  Sit on the director's stool and steal his pens. 

18.  Neglect and abuse your chorus folder, robe and music.

19.  Complain about never getting solos.

20.  Claim that you never got a copy of the music when the director knows for sure that everyone received one yesterday.

21.  Fight among yourselves as often as possible and be sure to destroy any group morale that exists. Label any group social event as 'dumb' but come anyway and have a good time."

22.  "Get Your SHINE Together!"